Should My Aspiring Content Creator Pal Cease Exploiting Me for Material?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?